Do you feel a sense of anger or revenge towards someone?
Some people will never forgive.
If that’s the case, they still have you in prison.
It means that you’re willing to sabotage yourself physically and emotionally for the rest of your life.
All that, because you think that forgiveness is weakness.
Instead is all the opposite.
Forgiveness is a sign of courage. It takes a strong and wise person to forgive someone.
Why people are caught in negative behaviors
Often people are caught in negative behaviors and we can’t seem to explain why that happens.
Actually, there are hidden positive intentions behind every action or belief they hold, behind everything they do or happens to them.
In other words, people are convinced that a specific action or behavior will enable them to feel better in some way.
And it’s true. It causes a sense of relief. But in the long term the effect it’s devastating for themselves and for the people around.
It’s like a drug. You feel relief but then it’s devastating.
Let’s consider some examples of hidden positive intentions:
- Beating someone up. The hidden positive intention may be to feel a sense of power instead of powerlessness.
- Lying. The hidden positive intention may be to make them seem more impressive to other people. So it is their way to feel that they are good enough and to get approval and support from other people.
Bottom line is people are not bad. They are just wounded.
Forgiveness is looking at people with the spiritual knowledge of their innocence rather than the mortal perception of their guilt. By forgiving, we do not grant victory to those who wronged us; instead, we surrender the aspect of mind that is blocking divine correction. Not forgiving, then, is granting victory to those who wronged us, in that we allow them to shape our reality. – Marianne Williamson, Spiritual teacher, author, lecturer
Those who have failed to learn need teaching, not attack. To attack those who have need of teaching is to fail to learn from them. – A course in miracles
Individuals who are realized in their own lives almost never criticize others. If they speak at all, it is to offer encouragement. – Steven Pressfield
Some people make you think thoughts that drain your energy. They suck your life, energy, joy and you feel depleted.
However, it’s not the person itself that drains you, it’s your own thoughts, your own perceptions. You only give them power if you give importance to what they say.
Actually, they are not the problem. Your reaction is the problem. Only your reaction determines if you let them suck our energy.
So, ask yourself this question when something is not going the way you like: “What thoughts and beliefs are present in me that are making me a match to this unwanted situation?”
When you still feel caught in an unwanted situation just say: “I go beyond fears and limitations of other people, I control my life.” And you say that from a place of freedom, peace and love, not frustration.
Now, here are 3 steps to let go anger and revenge and forgive people:
1. Put yourself into their shoes
When we look deep into other people we see that all of them have one thing in common: they want to be happy.
Everyone is doing the best they can with what they’ve been given.
At the core humans are inherently good. Yet we see hatred everywhere.
How’s it possible?
Our ego gets in the way and disconnects us from our natural intelligence.
Our behavior is a consequence of our upbringing and circumstances in life.
When you feel resentment towards other people think about that: if you had their exact history, feelings, thoughts as strongly as they do then you would act in the exact same way.
2. It’s about setting yourself free
Forgiveness is about ourselves, it’s about letting go of the feeling of anger or revenge.
It is about unlocking the door to set someone free and realizing we were the prisoners.
It doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong.
You can forgive the person without excusing the act.
Forgiveness just brings a feeling of peace that helps you go on with life.
3. The world needs more compassion
Hatred and resentment generate only more violence.
Most of all it consumes yourself.
The solution is not to attack other people.
The best way to protect yourself is to have more compassion.
People with bad behaviors are just sad, frustrated people. Nobody happy and realized can ever hate on someone.
A realized person never attacks others. If they speak at all is to offer encouragement.
We all have had moments of jealousy, envy, low self-esteem.
Now think about how did you felt in those moments. You surely were unhappy, frustrated.
So when somebody is doing something wrong to you that’s where it’s coming from.
It’s coming from wounded people.
Only deep internal pain can make someone lash out and do something hateful.