Overcoming Shadows in a Relationship

Love (on a subconscious level) is not enough. It also needs conscious compatibility and commitment. This doesn’t mean we should fear that feeling of intense attraction. But we must be aware that it is our subconscious mind that is driving us.

When we feel an intense attraction we must try to understand our subconscious motivations for the relationship. We must be prepared to face our shadows.

So, if this is the case, the partner we have chosen should be prepared to face those shadows as well and together with us.

If two people are capable of doing that, all that would be left is true love.

At that point, the choice of whether to be committed in a long-term relationship is a lifestyle choice rather than a choice motivated by addiction, internal compulsion, or compulsive attachment.

To overcome the shadows, we have to look into ourselves and slowly heal the wounds stored in the subconscious.

Firstly, we have to try to understand those aspects of other people that we currently have a strong negative emotional reaction to.

This means that we have to understand the hidden positive intention in the behavior of the partner, we have to accept them for who they are.

Secondly, we need to let express in ourselves those aspects that we love in other people but that we denied in ourselves because of our emotional wounds.

To make the relationship blossom we have to make time to listen and understand them. Because you only get to know them if you let them reveal.

It’s not that we don’t have time. There is always time. It is only a matter of priorities.

Often we have preconceived ideas and we don’t trust others. But we should start by trusting ourselves.

Because the truth is that we are insecure. And insecurity is born out of a lack of trust for ourselves.

When we first meet someone, often we make the mistake of seeing what the partner could be instead of what she is and so, everything is positive, happy, enjoyable, full of promises.

But eventually, we begin to notice what we really are instead of what we wish we were.

Reality shows to us and our illusion is shattered.

So we should fall in love with what is, not what could be.

This doesn’t mean we don’t have to have faith in the capacities of another person.

It’s just that if we do so, we don’t really love the other person, we love our perception of what she could be. And this means we have fallen in love with an illusion, with something that does not exist.

Because on a spiritual level the past doesn’t exist and the future doesn’t exist either. The only thing that truly exists is now.

And we have to find happiness with what we have now.



Hi, my name is Fabrizio and I’m grateful that our paths have crossed.

My mission is to work with people who struggle with physical and/or
emotional health to guide and empower them to create a vibrant, healthy and fulfilling life.

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