How To Stop Beating Yourself Up, Let Go Of Past Mistakes, And Overcome A Negative Thought Spiral
Mistakes are part of everyone’s life. What too often happens, though, is that we beat ourselves up. And we start spiraling down.
And once we are trapped in a negative spiral it’s hard to get out of it.
So, yes it’s difficult, but it’s not impossible. And if you learn what you’re doing wrong, you realize that you have the power to transform your life.
What Are Mistakes?
Now, it is important to understand that nobody purposely wants to make mistakes.
When we do, we are convinced that we are making the best decision possible. Instead, then, looking back, it turns out to be a mistake.
As spiritual teacher Teal Swan explains, our level of awareness changes, our perspective changes, we learn more information and we realize that it was not the best choice, after all.
But we shouldn’t judge ourselves for what we didn’t know at the time.
If you didn’t think something was the best thing to do at the time, you would not have done it. We make a lot of these choices that we think are best, but that turn out to be mistakes, but the truth still remains that we only make mistakes because we are not aware that they are mistakes at the time.
— Teal Swan
Why We Beat Ourselves Up
When we are children and we make mistakes we are often corrected and criticized. The conclusion we get to is that we are bad and we internalize this belief into adulthood.
The result is that we connect our mistakes with our self- worth by criticizing, blaming ourselves for each mistake.
We lose self-confidence and we get trapped in a negative spiral.
This hasn’t to be the case anymore. Read the next 4 points to completely change the way you look at yourself.
1. Reframe the meaning of mistakes
The key to maintain your self-confidence even when you make mistakes is to change your perspective and reframe the meaning of mistakes.
Instead of focusing on the negative outcome you have to focus on what you learn from each error since it is just an experience that makes you wiser.
It’s only thanks to the feedback of mistakes that we get closer and closer to success.
In fact, if you are willing to analyze every mistake, they will tell you what you need to correct each time and, therefore, they’ll bring you closer to success.
2. Know that it’s who you are that really matters
Let’s say you build something great and then circumstances go against you. You don’t receive payments you are entitled of, you lose all money revenue, you lose the support of people you care about.
If your character is weak then you start acting as a victim. You start saying that the world is not right and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Instead if your character is strong you would be devastated, at first. But only for a little while.
Because then you come to the realization that it’s who you are that builds your life.
It’s your personality, the value inside of you, not external circumstances. You come to the realization that you can fix your problems, that you can always find a way, that you can start over if you need to.
3. Be part of the solution
We always point our finger against others when something is not the way we want it to be. We watch the world crumble before our eyes and we always think that others are the problem.
Actually we contribute to the problem thinking that it’s not our responsibility to resolve it.
So if you don’t want to be part of the problem then always focus on being part of the solution.
You decide between being part of the problem or part of the solution in every single moment of your life, in every single decision you face.
So choose wisely: be part of the solution. Because the world needs solutions, not further problems.
4. Don’t let negativity get inside of you
You’ve got to believe in your ideas. Because before anyone else in the world believes it, you have to believe it.
At any moment, even if nobody believes in you, it only takes yourself believing in you to accomplish your goals.
An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.
— Goi Nasu
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